Canadian Club Premium Extra Aged Blended Canadian Whisky Imported 1858

           Now, as I sit upon my floor looking at what may be considered to most simplistic and unimaginative bottles that houses any type of hard liquor, I find myself asking a very important question. “Have I just made a premium mistake?” And no, I am not referring to the fact that I am sitting on the floor (although it does happen to be quite comfortable). I am referring to how I, and many others I converse with, have not heard one good thing about this particular whisky. Not even the individuals who work at the liquor store I visited had anything good to say (which is shown by the caked on amount of dust that I had to scrape off the top of the bottle). For us, the name Canadian Club instills such a feeling of disgust we almost feel the need to reevaluate our lives and question or not we live in a reality that actually produces such a horrendous thing.

            But is Canadian whisky really all that terrible? It is often spoken of as a poor quality whisky (possibly due to the extreme lack of regulations in Canada that essentially allows distillers to throw whatever they have from a barrel into a bottle, add some colour and call it whisky). But this is a bias pushed onto us by nearly everyone who has ever tried it, and so I took it upon myself to start at the bottom of the barrel and lick what drops had fallen onto the dingy bar floor that I somehow ended up in. And that means I am starting with the cheapest bottle of whisky I could find from Canada. Coming in at $12 (including tax!) is this dingy brown bottle of Canadian Club Premium Extra Aged Blended Canadian Whisky Imported 1858 (what does “Premium Extra Aged” even mean?). I am hoping that it is the exact opposite of everything I have ever heard about Canadian Club, mainly because of the wonderful shiny gold label on the neck indicating that it was the 2013 gold winner of the International Spirits Challenge. So hopefully that means something!

            As I pour the amber liquid into my glass, my nose furls slightly. Does the whisky really smell that unappetizing already or is my cold simply getting in the way of me being able to detect all of the notes? Perhaps I should lean in for a closer smell. Breathing in I begin to cough slightly, realizing I could have gotten the same effect and essentially the same smell if I stuck my nose into a bottle of rubbing alcohol. It has a nearly perfect one note aroma, but curiously, I start to concentrate. I begin to detect notes of a cheap, bottom shelf bottle of chardonnay, and a hint of green vegetation, although quite faintly. Suprisingly, there was virtually no burn, whatsoever. Deeply dissatisfied with the nose I prepare myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally, for the next endeavor. Tasting.

            One of the first things I notice is that the nose, and the bottle’s description, were hugely misleading. There is a hefty burn as you feel it ignite the back of your tongue, quickly sliding down the back of your esophagus just as petrol would. But onwards I must persist. I brace myself for another sip and tilt the glass back letting the liquid cover my tongue. The taste is a bit more complex than at first sip, but clearly not “premium extra aged.” The notes are almost like that of a white (unaged) whisky. Clear tastes of cut grass are then taken over by a heavy, medicinal flavor, quite bitter, almost like if you licked the freshly cleaned floor of a hospital surgery room. With such a young taste to the whisky, I cannot help but wonder if Canadian Club simply took its “blend” of whisky, and simply poured it into a barrel so that they could add whatever caramel coloring they could find before bottling it and shipping it directly to someone’s dusty basement to go untouched, which is essentially how much time it seems to have spent aging. The finish fortunately ends quick, leaving behind only a slight astringent after taste and a gentle burn of the tongue.

            I certainly can see why so many people dislike Canadian Club whisky as much as they do and find myself questioning the judging abilities of the International Spirits Challenge judges (or perhaps the entries in 2013 were simply the quality of that ash tray I made in kindergarten). I for one hope to never see this in my liquor cabinet again anytime soon (although I assume I will be constantly seeing it due to my inability to bring myself to pour another glass with much enthusiasm at all). But I must assert that it is not a bad whisky at all, for there is no such thing, though it is certainly at the bottom of the list of all the ones I have tasted. Its remarkably simple flavor palate for a blended whisky would most certainly make itself ideal for that poor college student who needed something to mix with their store brand, liter, bottle of cola that they got on sale for $1 in order to get wasted enough to make another poor life decision. The first mistake of the evening being that they bought this bottle of whisky.

            - Review by John of The GC Whisky Trip